Remember the song where Jim Carrey & co try what not by singing out what is life?
It keeps hitting me what is life and where is life? From the perspective of a vantage point, I am at a worst point in life to ponder about things as abstract as life but I say fuck the vantage point funda. I want to get this thing out my system. One way I had found is throw up all the thoughts or lines that flash in my mind. So here I puke:
- I am a good guy, bad guy, asshole, clever, dumb ass, awesome dude to various people
- Does losing myself to nature help me finding more inner peace? This is what I had felt after watching few videos of BBC Human Planet.
- Then I continue some more time on Youtube only to land on some sweet & cute college couple romancing all their way in life. I am unconsciously making romance in life as the most conspicuous thing in life.
- Is internship really not a big thing because I failed to get it?
- I never made the right moves with a girl only because I never knew if the moves were right. I am afraid that I might be abusing their trust in me, but khaas main dartha nahin?!
- What are the fucking right moves and why are they not fucking documented when millions of young-men spend time, money, thought in trying to figure this divine secret?
- Is it the Darwin's rule- "survival of the fittest", in play when you try to get a job, build a career, get a girl, have a stable relationship in life?
- Why not make it survival of everyone? It could be unsustainable! Fucking sustainability.
- I am only asking the question on my life. My life with all the things that happened with me, things that I had created, people I had shared my experiences with, people I like to spend time with, what is all this? Is there something to it or does it not fucking matter irrespective of I give a rat's ass to it?
- What am I supposed to do? What did I dream to do? What was I destined to do? What do I like doing? And what am I doing?
- Does my life has any color left?
- I am afraid of arranged marriage. What is this new fucking fear?
- This life with dual personality sucks. My perceptions differ so much from my family's ideas on life, and I am afraid of the clash.
- I may be wrong but I am adamant to accept their point of view without failing to have tried my idea.
- Now that I don't have serious responsibility my mind is fucking around all the shit in the world. Once I have a family and commitments to oblige then my spirit shall get nailed.
- Oh god that is what I am afraid of. Afraid that I perceive my spirit as being nailed by obligations and then drift along indefinitely with this baggage.
- I seriously need someone strong, stable and coherent with me in life.
- I hate issues in life.
- What crap was all that?
